I probably complain about school far too often on here (I am working on it). In all honesty, it not that bad, but on occasion, like today, I just have to poke fun because it really is beyond the point of ridiculous.

Knitting - no longer the sedate art it was?
(image credit: google - I actually wanted a picture of Nanatoo from the Mighty Boosh, but failed to find one)

So today, I was banned from knitting. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it’s close enough to what happened. Let me explain…

Every morning, we have a “registration period” where we basically sit in our form rooms and pass the time until 09.10 when we go to lessons. Supposedly, we are meant to bring something “productive” to do in that time and naturally, me being me, I take some knitting or crochet to do - I’ve been doing this since September.

These past 2 days, the school has had the grand pleasure of having Offstead come and visit. I shalln’t bore you with what I think of these inspections (if you have ever experienced one, I’m sure you may see why humourous springs to mind) but naturally, this makes teachers act, out of character, shall we say. In registration today, my form teacher (FT) decided to come up to me and the following conversation transpired:

NB: this was at about 9am and the exact words that were said fail me, but this is the jist. *Names have been shortened to initials.
FT: If I were offstead and I asked you why you were knitting, what would you say?
Me: (Appears slightly taken aback) Pardon?
FT: Well, the rule is that you are supposed to be reading or doing something towards organising yourself, how does knitting fall into this category?
Me: Errm…
R*: She’s making file… (she later told me that she was going to say file dividers)
FT: (Interrupts) Don’t start R*
Me: I’m sorry, I just don’t understand what could possibly be wrong with knitting? It’s productive and is a lot better than just sitting here.
FT: I agree that knitting is therapeutic, but you are supposed to be doing some reading. If your don’t like the rule, go and take it up with the head of year.
Me: Right…
FT: (Interrupts) Don’t go now though.
Me: (Looking pretty fed up by now) No, probably not the best idea. (Unwillingly starts to put knitting into bag)

Now, I’ve probably done a terrible job at getting your sympathy. Honestly, I’m not trying to convince you, I just wanted, as Sherlock Holmes would put it, to state the facts. The first thing that strikes me about that is, as far as I know, there is no rule which says this “productiveness” has to be reading or an organisational activity. Anyone would think I was doing some dodgy dealings like selling stolen paper clips behind the sheds - not knitting!

I fail to understand why, other than Offstead stress, knitting is considered to be less productive than sitting and pointlessly reading the letters that were handed out only moments before (which I ended up doing). I was neither disturbing anyone nor paining myself by knitting and surely an inspector would have thought it quaint rather than anything else? Or do inspectors not have these kind of notions? Seriously though, if you can elaborate as to why I am not allowed to knit, please do so, it would be mighty helpful.

Of course, this minor setback is not going to deter me and the knitting needles will be out again tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll start a game of leapfrog instead and say that involves organisation - let’s see where that gets me!